Overheard at a Party in the year 2000

So I have an assignment for my writing class to eavesdrop and transcribe a conversation that I've overheard. Unfortunately, everyone around here talks faster than I can write. I did my best to scribble down people's conversations when I went to dinner, but it was pointless and I didn't get anything I could use. However, I did find a tape recorder that I apparently used to record audio from a gathering in my dorm room in sophomore year of college. It's probably not what my professor had in mind, but it's so much funnier than anything that anyone at the restaurant was saying anyway.... Here is some faithfully transcribed dialog from an evening some time in the year 2000. I haven't transcribed my piercing cackles which overwhelm some of the dialog, but you'll get the idea (the idea being, I was sort of a moron):

Guy 1: Is K. a snake?
Me: A what?
Guy 1: A snake. Because he sheds his skin, you know?
Me: He has eczema!
Guy 1: Oh, it’s eczema? Oh, okay.
Me: Yep.
Guy 2: Oh I thought you meant like—
Me: --Like a bad person. No, he has eczema. And so does his other roommate. It’s really weird that the two of them have eczema.
Guy 2: What roommate?
Me: Uh, E. has eczema. But I think K’s is worse. It’s pretty hardcore.
Guy 1: Contagious.
Me: No it’s not contagious at all. It’s just weird that they both have it. And they’re from the same hometown.
Guy 1: There must be something in the water.
Me: Definitely. You can get eczema from drinking the water.
Guy 1: Really?
Me: No.
Guy 1: You just lied to me? You lied to me just now?
Me: I lie constantly.
Guy 1: I’ll never trust you again.
Me: Whatever. Like you ever trusted me to begin with.
Guy 1: I trusted you.
Me: Did you?
Guy 1: Yes.
Me: Well that was your first mistake.
Guy 1: No, I made mistakes before that.
Me: Oh.

Guy 1:Would you like a Jolly Rancher? I just found some more. These didn’t used to be in my pocket. These were in somebody else’s pocket and they put them down here.
Guy 2: Oh my god. When will it end with the Jolly Ranchers?
Guy 1: Do you know how many Jolly Ranchers I’ve consumed in the past—
Guy 2: Why are they called Jolly Ranchers?
Guy 1: They make you jolly.
Me: I thought that had to do with pirates? The Jolly Rancher?
Guy 1: The Jolly Rodger.
Me: Oh, right.
Guy 2: Hahah!
Me: Well I knew it was something, somehow pirate related.
Guy 1: Yeah, so like the Jolly Rancher is like a pirate of cattle.
Me: A cattle pirate! (uncontrollable laughing)